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What are your problems?? (hey can we make this a sticky??)
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What are your problems?? (hey can we make this a sticky??)
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ClassyLady



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[color=darkred][b]((((Scorp)))) Good reading you! HNY to you too! [/b][/color]
Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:19 pm View user's profile Find all posts by ClassyLady Send private message
Derek



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My problem? Disposable income (or lack thereof) 'til Friday.
Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:49 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Derek Send private message
sierraqueen



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[quote="ClassyLady"][color=darkred][b]How much time y'all got?!? Laughing [/b][/color][/quote]

Laughing Laughing Laughing silly Laughing
I feel you though Ma!!

It be's that way some times.

Thanks for the hug Scorp. Very Happy But time is so slooowww with that healing part or is just me?

Hey Liyah, it was their loss, right? Cool [size=7]motherfuckers![/size]
Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:26 am View user's profile Find all posts by sierraqueen Send private message
LIYAH



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No, it's not just you girl, time is one ignorant mother when it comes to matters of the heart Evil or Very Mad

But you're right. Their loss Wink
Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:54 am View user's profile Find all posts by LIYAH Send private message
Scorpian



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[quote="LIYAH"]No, it's not just you girl, time is one ignorant mother when it comes to matters of the heart Evil or Very Mad

But you're right. Their loss Wink[/quote]


SQ and Liyah, both of you know when you are going through it seems like time is a snail. Just remember you are going to make it through this. When you get to the other side you are going to say WOW I ACTUALLY MADE IT. And yes it is their loss.
Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:59 am View user's profile Find all posts by Scorpian Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
kateyes



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Yeah and then you will be like..."I was trippin!"

I am kinda going through right now..almost in the same situation. But I have been there before so I am constantly telling myself, "Remember Tom? You thought that was it. The end of the world and now you don't give a shit." And keep yourself busy..idle time is the real enemy Crying or Very sad Laughing
Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:32 am View user's profile Find all posts by kateyes Send private message Yahoo Messenger
Scorpian



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You know it really tees me off when you try and do something to help someone and they make you feel like you just wasted your time. It really pisses me off.......
Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:27 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Scorpian Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
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WHY is it that people are determined to think what they want to think? It never ceases to amaze me that people can't see that they mean something to you. EVEN if you don't want them in your life.
Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:56 pm Find all posts by Anonymous
SuggahB



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[color=blue]With BabySis passing in October & her not having a will, her daughter's father figures since everything belongs to the kid, it in effect belongs to him. Rolling Eyes I've had so many damn battles with this man until I can't hardly grieve for my sister. I spend most of my time being angry w/him & counteracting all the bullshyt he's throwing in my path. As much as I love my niece......would do ANYTHING for her......knowing that she needs the one remaining parent, I find myself wishing his ass would just disappear. God knows it's wrong to think like that & I ask forgiveness for that thought everyday that I open my eyes, I know with all my being that BabySis wouldn't want him all in her business like that.

But what that fool doesn't know is that I'm plotting a coup & I'm going to overthrow him! I won't rest until it's done because no matter what I have to do what's right for my sis & her child. Consequences be damned.[/color]
Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:21 am View user's profile Find all posts by SuggahB Send private message
BayBeGirl



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((((All of you that are going through, have been through, or about to go through something))))

Stay strong and remember this Arrow What don't kill you will make you stronger.
Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:45 pm View user's profile Find all posts by BayBeGirl Send private message
Scorpian



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[quote="SuggahB"][color=blue]With BabySis passing in October & her not having a will, her daughter's father figures since everything belongs to the kid, it in effect belongs to him. Rolling Eyes I've had so many damn battles with this man until I can't hardly grieve for my sister. I spend most of my time being angry w/him & counteracting all the bullshyt he's throwing in my path. As much as I love my niece......would do ANYTHING for her......knowing that she needs the one remaining parent, I find myself wishing his ass would just disappear. God knows it's wrong to think like that & I ask forgiveness for that thought everyday that I open my eyes, I know with all my being that BabySis wouldn't want him all in her business like that.

But what that fool doesn't know is that I'm plotting a coup & I'm going to overthrow him! I won't rest until it's done because no matter what I have to do what's right for my sis & her child. Consequences be damned.[/color][/quote]


{{{{{{{{{{{{{Suggah}}}}}}}}}}}}} hope things are better for you.
Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:50 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Scorpian Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
nspyrd



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positive wishes and prayers to all that are dealing with some things. Grateful that your well-being was protected during the recent accident, PM!

I have a long-term friend (not a "best" friend, just a casual friend), that is going through some major drama... and just a few minutes ago, she just told me that she can "understand suicide". She's a mother of three grown daughters and the whole family is going through some serious issues right now:[list]
[*] one daughter in mourning over accidental and recent death of fiance
[*] other daughter a rebel, feuding with both parents
[*] other daughter a nun living in a convent
[*] marriage falling apart (but neither can afford a divorce)
[*] health failing - primarily due to stress
[*] finances jacked up - bought a $600K+ house a few years ago, refinanced before bottom dropped out, now in world of trouble
[*] job at risk - all the stress affecting her performance
[*] legal troubles - too long to mention the reasons[/list:u]I mean girlfriend is messed the hell up right now - beyond my ability to even begin to help. The most I can do is pray for her and let her vent to me (sometimes). I recognize that this is not my issue - nor can I let it become mine to solve. Tried to convince her to talk to a therapist but since she is in a position that requires security clearance, she cannot seek professional services without jeopardizing her clearance status. I just reminded her that as bleak as things seem now, for her to take the route of suicide would leave more devastation in its wake. I don't know what to say to her because platitudes, telling her to pray and anything along that line is really useless. I told her that she needs to put her thoughts of her clearance secondary to her physical and emotional well-being and go see that therapist.

What do you say to someone whose life really is as jacked up as they believe it to be? Since she is just healing from a recent surgery, she has lots of pain meds nearby... and I really feel that an "accidental" and fatal overdose is not beyond her capability right now.
Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:02 pm View user's profile Find all posts by nspyrd Send private message
Marz



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That chic should file bankruptcy period. I can't see any reason NOT to. It's not like shes gonna earn enough to catch up on all those bills my god..

I was beginning to hate this thread but now as I click it my problems are very MINOR in comparison..
Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:16 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Marz Send private message Send e-mail
Rock Star



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re: nspyrd

That's a tough one ... I'm always inclined to believe that someone somewhere is dealing with something much worse and most of this stuff that she's dealing with appears to be a result of her choices. There isn't much she can do about the daughters ... but how old are they? There should be some distance on some of it if they're grown. I know your children are your children forever ... but I am no longer the responsibility of my parents. I wouldn't want to burden them with my own issues ... ya know?

She chose this. She chose the kids, the house, the husband ... good choices? That's her decision.

When you're busy focusing on what you don't have or what's going wrong ... you can't take the time to appreciate what you DO have. All of her children are alive ... all of the stuff can be figured out ... the house, divorce, etc.

Sounds like she needs to be SELFISH right now. Suicide is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY situation. Let her know that there is NO way this will last forever.
Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:17 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Rock Star Send private message Send e-mail
Marz



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[i]tried to convince her to talk to a therapist [/i]

Honestly that'll do nothing and they'll do nothing for her but give her a couch to talk to someone about. Rockstar is right about her daughters problems. She needs to worry about her own first. I'm convinced some people LIKE being this way because they won't even explore other ways of thinking or ways of getting out of that situation.

What a messed up way to exist because thats not "living"..
Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:23 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Marz Send private message Send e-mail
Scorpian



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[quote="nspyrd"]positive wishes and prayers to all that are dealing with some things. Grateful that your well-being was protected during the recent accident, PM!

I have a long-term friend (not a "best" friend, just a casual friend), that is going through some major drama... and just a few minutes ago, she just told me that she can "understand suicide". She's a mother of three grown daughters and the whole family is going through some serious issues right now:[list]
[*] one daughter in mourning over accidental and recent death of fiance
[*] other daughter a rebel, feuding with both parents
[*] other daughter a nun living in a convent
[*] marriage falling apart (but neither can afford a divorce)
[*] health failing - primarily due to stress
[*] finances jacked up - bought a $600K+ house a few years ago, refinanced before bottom dropped out, now in world of trouble
[*] job at risk - all the stress affecting her performance
[*] legal troubles - too long to mention the reasons[/list:u]I mean girlfriend is messed the hell up right now - beyond my ability to even begin to help. The most I can do is pray for her and let her vent to me (sometimes). I recognize that this is not my issue - nor can I let it become mine to solve. Tried to convince her to talk to a therapist but since she is in a position that requires security clearance, she cannot seek professional services without jeopardizing her clearance status. I just reminded her that as bleak as things seem now, for her to take the route of suicide would leave more devastation in its wake. I don't know what to say to her because platitudes, telling her to pray and anything along that line is really useless. I told her that she needs to put her thoughts of her clearance secondary to her physical and emotional well-being and go see that therapist.

What do you say to someone whose life really is as jacked up as they believe it to be? Since she is just healing from a recent surgery, she has lots of pain meds nearby... and I really feel that an "accidental" and fatal overdose is not beyond her capability right now.[/quote]


NSPYRD, just keep praying for her, keep being a friend and showing love. But as you said you cannot let it become your issue to solve. She is going to have to make some tough decisions and she is going to need a strong friend that will not run out on her.
Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:32 pm View user's profile Find all posts by Scorpian Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
nspyrd



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Marz... I don't know if she's even thought of bankruptcy. I'm going to ask her - a Chapter 13 will restructure debt, but at least she'll be able to keep her house (or sell it rather than being thrown out of it). I suggested therapy as a way to help her through her depression because she can't do it alone. She used to be such an optimist person - but that person is long gone. Some people just need to talk through their problems before they can come up with solutions. Because she's become such a Debbie Downer, her friends turn away. A therapist, at least, will give her an ear.

[quote="Rock Star"]re: nspyrd

That's a tough one ... I'm always inclined to believe that someone somewhere is dealing with something much worse and most of this stuff that she's dealing with appears to be a result of her choices.

She chose this. She chose the kids, the house, the husband ... good choices? That's her decision.[/quote]Truer words. Her life, her predicament - everything was a result of her own choices and frankly, when things were going well, a little bit of arrogance. She took out a super-mortgage (anytime you buy a house that is close to a mil) - even though I warned her to think carefully about it and ensure that she can handle things if her husband left (they'd been fighting for a while) or if one of them lost their jobs. She didn't listen.
[quote]When you're busy focusing on what you don't have or what's going wrong ... you can't take the time to appreciate what you DO have. [/quote] This is my personal mantra. Not that everything has always been a bed of roses in my life, but I tend to focus on what's going right, what my blessing are - while working on those areas that could stand overhaul.
[quote]All of her children are alive ... all of the stuff can be figured out ... the house, divorce, etc. [/quote]I forgot - her daughter that lost her fiance in a freak traffic accident (no drugs, no alcohol, etc.) was talking about suicide just a couple of weeks ago also. She's developed a very fatalistic view of life, so she's having trouble seeing any of the things that are still right about life period.

Sometimes she talks so crazy, that honestly - if I heard in the news that there was a family murder-suicide in my general vicinity, I'd drive to her house.

[quote="Scorpian"]NSPYRD, just keep praying for her, keep being a friend and showing love. But as you said you cannot let it become your issue to solve. She is going to have to make some tough decisions and she is going to need a strong friend that will not run out on her.[/quote]I understand that, I am being careful not to become consumed by her darkness right now. I keep our conversations directed and short, and I ask her questions that force her to consider the things she most values in life. I send her little notes, brought her an edible "flower" arrangement to cheer her up. Sometimes a person needs to go inside themselves; and if they are spiritual, reconnect with whatever they consider sacred, to find answers. She has a lot of work to do, and unfortunately, it's work that only SHE can do.
Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:50 pm View user's profile Find all posts by nspyrd Send private message
EvilSwampWitch.



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NSPYRD,

These days they are a little more lenient when it comes to clearances and therapy. It will depend on clearance level, which agency she works for or if she is a contractor. Another option is have her speak to a pastor or therapist connected to her church. I have friends who are catholic that speak with a pastoral counselor who is also a priest and nothing can ever be repeated even under supeona.
Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:31 pm View user's profile Find all posts by EvilSwampWitch. Send private message
OHbrotha



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[quote]other daughter a nun living in a convent
[/quote]

why is this a problem Laughing unless the the convent is on the second floor of the Playboy Mansion Laughing
Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:40 pm View user's profile Find all posts by OHbrotha Send private message Visit poster's website
nspyrd



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[quote="EvilSwampWitch."]NSPYRD,

These days they are a little more lenient when it comes to clearances and therapy. It will depend on clearance level, which agency she works for or if she is a contractor. Another option is have her speak to a pastor or therapist connected to her church. I have friends who are catholic that speak with a pastoral counselor who is also a priest and nothing can ever be repeated even under supeona.[/quote]

Excellent point, I will mention that to her. We're getting together this weekend.
Thu May 01, 2008 2:12 am View user's profile Find all posts by nspyrd Send private message
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